"Further up & further in..."

My blog is named after St. Therésè's concept of riding a "little elevator" to Heaven. I have to mention that I am constantly amazed at how often Catholic theology uses the concept of having many 'levels' to achieve a spiritual goal.


For example...


This Fall my company is publishing a book titled, Hungry Souls, which chronicles stories about holy souls in purgatory who have visited loved ones on earth begging to be prayed for so they can reach Heaven. 


My co-worker, Lesly, has been reading the book and mentioned to me today how it is interesting that purgatory is defined as having many 'levels' and depending on what level those Holy Souls are at determines what they have permission to do (the lowest level  they can do nothing but wait for prayers to elevate them to the next... as they progress they can entreat souls on earth to pray for them, etc.).


This prompted me to recall Teresa of Avila's beautiful Interior Castle or, the more secularly known, Chronicles of Narnia.


My husband and I were watching The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe Sunday night and I recalled Mr. Beaver's hushed instructions to Lucy when they first meet after she asked about the safety of her friend, Mr. Tumnus:


"Further in..." Beaver whispers to her and her siblings. And he scampers away, prompting them to follow him.


C.S. Lewis proves his deeply Catholic thinking once again with this reference of saying that Lucy, Peter, Susan & Edmund must move further "in" Narnia to find safety and find deeper meaning. This concept is expanded all the more in the final volume of the Narnia series: The Last Battle...


The world comes to an end and Lucy (along with other Narnia friends) is brought to Narnia as She is fading into nothing. Lucy weeps at the sight, having held Narnia near and dear to her heart for so long. 


But Lucy is filled with joy when Aslan brings her (along with the others deemed worthy) into a new world. "Further up & further in..." she is told... and they move into this new Narnia - which is so much more wonderful than the original - and up the mountains only to discover and newer and MORE wonderful Narnia there. And on it goes... "further up and further in..." until Lucy cannot recall why she ever thought the original Narnia was wonderful at all since these new ones shine so much brighter.


There are so many layers to our faith that we cannot imagine. We deepen our relationship with God and we wonder how it was possible that we thought our faith was ever this wonderful before...


Our faith is the same way. The key is to always to pursue that deeper level - with God, with our spouses, children, friends...


We must continue to move "Further up & further in..."

The value suffering for Edmond Dantes

When I was in high school, I was very involved with Life Teen, my church's youth group program. During my senior year, I heard the story of the Miraculous Medal which was given to Saint Catherine Labouré by Mary in several visions during her life. The front of the medal depicts Mary standing atop the world with her hands - palms out - by her side and light pouring from her fingers. Mary told Catherine that the lights were the graces given to her by God to give to souls who asked for them. She went on to explain that those graces which appeared very dim were those that were not asked for often. One of these graces was suffering. After hearing the story, I told my close friend and mentor, Dee, that I intended to begin praying to God through Mary for the grace of suffering. To which Dee replied, "You will regret asking for that." I told her I did not care - I desperately wanted that grace!!

Little did I know what was in store for me in making that prayer. I prayed for suffering and received it in abundance - but I also know I've received the grace along with it. I have had many a moment of sobbing with emotional and physical pain and distress pleading to God "I've had enough! I don't want this anymore!" and begged Him to take suffering away. But always, as it is with our Lord, I quickly saw the graces earned by my suffering and I always end up requesting that suffering again.

This evening I watched The Count of Monte Cristo. A very good movie (based on the famous book) that I would definitely recommend to anyone. But in watching it tonight, I felt a tap on my shoulder from God reminding me once again of the importance of suffering in our lives.

For those who do not know the story, I'll tell it briefly. Edmond Dantes is a young man when he is falsely imprisoned for treason to France. He spends 13 years in a horrid maximum security prison and after several years there befriends a priest who is digging his way out of the chateau. Eventually, the priest dies and on his deathbed, tells Dantes to trust in God. After 13 years in prison, Dantes bitterly replies, "I don't believe in God." To which the answer comes, "It doesn't matter. He believes in you."

Dantes escapes the prison and immediately begins to seek revenge for his imprisonment. When he finds his fiancé, Mercedes, married to the man who betrayed him, his anger only worsens. When Mercedes is finally able to confront him, knowing who is he, she begs him to put his revenge aside and simply be with her. When she tells him that God has offered them a new beginning, Dantes replies, "Can I never escape Him?" She says, "No. . . He is in everything."

It takes the entire story for Dantes to finally realize the value in his suffering. When finally given the opportunity to kill his betrayer he realizes he cannot do it.

Dantes is a wonderful literary character living the story of suffering that we all live. No, we are not all falsely imprisoned for over a decade - or are we?

Sometimes I think we are allowing ourselves to be imprisoned when we do not cherish the value of our suffering. We shut ourselves away from God as Dantes was shut from the world he knew. We ask, "Why me?" or say "I don't deserve this!"

But it is critical remember that when suffering in those ways, we are one with Christ - who deserved NOTHING of the suffering He bore through His Passion and Death. And so when we suffer, we bring ourselves closer to Him and ride that 'little elevator' up another floor.

Healthcare... determining charity versus responsibility

I have recently gotten addicted to listening to the news, specifically to News Talk 1110. My favorite is Tara Servatius from 3 PM - 6 PM weekdays. I highly recommend tuning into her show (wbt.com if you aren't local). Tara is a local host in the Charlotte area and she does a fantastic job of covering both local and national issues.


Not surprisingly, Tara has been discussing (what she calls) "Obama's Health Control Plan" a lot lately. And I have to say that the entire issue has put me "on the fence" about a lot of my political views and how those views relates to my moral obligations as a Catholic Christian person.


Now, don't get me wrong - I think that 99.999999% of all this health care talk is garbage. I think the government has no clue what they are actually doing. I am tired to no end of hearing how questioning Obama is racist. I don't like Obama. I don't care if he's black or white or PURPLE. He is an idiot and him being black has nothing to do with it. As one person commented on The Curt Jester's blog: 

"I hate his commie-hippie, white half. It's okay for a white to hate a white - right?" 

Well, no, let's be Christian about it, please. But I digress...


The whole lot of them (White House, Senate, House, etc.) aren't doing it the right way. The liberal nuts believe that everyone born deserves to be handed everything they should ever need or want. Wait, I take that back, the poor people deserve to be handed everything they should ever need or want. The rich people deserve to have it ripped out of their hands to give it to the poor. 


Who came UP with this idea? Seriously, they must have been high.


Life is not fair. PERIOD. We are born into a world which contains many things: love and comfort and trust and beauty... but that same world also has despair and pain and heartache. And NO ONE is immune. None of us are 'entitled' to not have suffering. In fact - we deserve pain and we should and WILL have it in our lives. And despite what the politicians or philosophers or left-wing media might want you to believe: suffering is GRACE. It is good and holy and brings us closer to Christ. 


What does that have to do with healthcare, you wonder?  Everything. 


My cousin, Christopher, (who was also my godfather) died almost two years ago from brain cancer. The entire process of his illness and death was terribly hard on my whole family, most especially my Grandma and my Aunt Barbara. I would call my grandmother to check up on her and Christopher (she was basically his nurse for nearly six months) and she would tell me how terrible it was that he was suffering so much and that he didn't deserve to suffer. 


I've never had the heart to tell her that she was wrong. As a human being, Christopher was made to suffer, just as we are all made to emulate Christ's suffering on Calvary. Christopher was not an especially religious person. Though raised Catholic, he hadn't been to Church in many years. But I believe he understood better than my family the point of his suffering - for he never complained. He never asked, "why me?" His deepest concerns before he passed were for his family - his mother especially (who would join him not long after). And I believe that his suffering connected him more with God and I pray that it gives him swift passage through purgatory to Heaven.


My point is, whoever we are wherever we come from we cannot escape suffering (and frankly, we should welcome it with open arms --- another topic for another time). The government would have you believe that each of us deserves health care so that we can get the treatment we need when we need it (never mind the fact that the government plans won't actually give us that). 


Obama used the example of one woman who was despairing because she had cancer but no job and therefore no healthcare. While I don't believe in just handing her healthcare on a platter for nothing, this is where my political views start to fight with my moral views. How can you tell her that she cannot have healthcare unless she works for it? What if her illness prevents her from working? What if she has no family to care for her? It is here that things begin to get fuzzy... as a Christian, I cannot turn her away. She must be treated with charity in all things. However, I might wonder at this being something that is the responsibility of the government? I don't think so... The government does not exist to be a charitable organization. I do believe that there must (and does) exist organizations -- people -- who can help her for little or no cost. 


I know I am a poor example of it but I believe that we as humans and more specifically Americans need to better learn how to 'deal with it.' Not that I'm saying we shouldn't use and benefit from modern medicine to help us but so much of the world has taken it to extremes never imagined - trying to rid ourselves of pain at any cost and extend our lives to the breaking point (perhaps instead of extending our lives we should be focusing more on the life to come). On the other hand, we use "medicine" for such destructive means as well: abortion, euthanasia and the death penalty -- things for which science and medicine should have NEVER been used for. It is beyond ridiculous.


My lunch break is almost up so I must draw this to a close...


My end point: we do have a responsibility to be charitable towards those in need around us but it is not the government's responsibility. We also have a responsibility to encourage people to help themselves rather than just hand them what they need.

Through the eyes of a child...

I had the tremendous opportunity yesterday afternoon/evening to visit a friend, Julie, and her three boisterous boys. 


Julie is the sister of one of my best friends, Laura. While Laura and her family (Mike, Mary Grace (1 yr) and Irenaeus (birthday-to-be soon!) live many miles away in Woodbridge, VA, Tim and I are lucky to have Julie, her husband, Jonathan, and their three boys living a short way away in Rock Hill, SC. 


Since Jonathan was out of town this weekend, I visited with with Julie, Caleb (4? or 5...?), Ethan (3) and newborn Gabriel. I had a wonderful time playing with Caleb & Ethan while Julie did a few chores and I even got to assist in changing and feeding little Gabe. (What a joy!)


The most wonderful part of the day was attending mass with all four of them and I had a wonderful spiritual experience of seeing the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass through the eyes of a child as I had never imagined. 


Caleb being slightly older than Ethan, he was able to stay calm and quiet through Mass for the most part (though he is still a kid). Ethan, on the other hand, is at that perfect age of being distracted by everyone and everything - as you would, of course, expect from a three-year-old boy. 


When Ethan continued to have trouble focusing on sitting still, I took him outside for a bit during the Homily. We sat down on a bench there and he was still very upset. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he wanted to go to the "Drop In" (the potluck dinner they were attending after mass). I explained to him that we couldn't go yet because it had not started. In fact, everyone that was going was back inside the church! This didn't help him in the least. I considered him for a moment and wondered what the next best step was to take. Should I stay out here the rest of mass? If I took him back inside surely he would just get upset again, I thought. But why? 


What made mass interesting for me, I wondered? I knew the answer instantly - Jesus was present there. How simple. Jesus WAS there... what made Ethan any less able to understand that beautiful fact? No reason I could think of. So, I decide to tell him. I'm sure he had been told before but he is young and it is easy for us mature adults to lull ourselves into boredom at mass if we are not focused enough. Satan can so easily tempt us into thinking of our grocery lists. So much harder it must be for a child to focus when they are used to running and playing all day long.


I sat Ethan on my lap and said, "Okay, Ethan. We cannot go to the drop-in yet because it has started. I know you want to go now but guess what?" I paused for the effect. 
He stared at me, listening. "What?" he whispered. 


I continued, "There is something SOOO much cooler going on in there!" and I pointed to the doors of the church. "Someone is going to be there VERY soon. Do you know who it is?"

"No."


"Jesus is going to be there."


His eyes widened and I was honestly surprised. I really had no idea what kind of response I would get but he was in total shock. His ability to believe my words was plain. Jesus was going to be there.


I continued, "Do you want to see Jesus?"


"Yes!" came the gleeful reply.


"You've seen him before, you know. What is it that the priest holds up during the mass?"
Of course, I should have counted on this but it made me laugh when the reply came: "The book!"


I chuckled, "Yes, that is true and Jesus is present in those words in the Bible that we read. What else does the priest hold up?"


"A cross!"


Okay, so we were getting a little off-topic but he was understanding elements of the mass - that was a good sign. 


"Well, sometimes he holds a cross, too. But do you remember seeing him hold up a piece of bread?" Ethan nodded. "Well, when the priest holds up the bread that's when Jesus is there! He is the bread! Isn't that cool? Jesus is right there in the bread! And then after that the priest holds up a cup with wine and you know what?


He was riveted, "What?!"


"Jesus is in that wine, too! He is right there!"


His shock continued and he remained very quiet. I continued, "So, do you want to see Jesus?"


"Yes!"


"Okay. You can see Him. BUT in order to do so you have to be quiet through ALL of the rest of mass and you have to sit still. Because otherwise, we're going to have to come back out here and you'll miss Him. Okay?"


"Okay," with a nod.


"Are you going to be quiet?"


"Yes."


"Okay. Let's go!"


I carried him inside and we stood in the back while Father finished his Homily. While standing in the back, I noticed the table setup with the bread and wine there ready to be brought forward at the presentation of the gifts. I whispered to Ethan, "Look, Ethan. Do you see the bread there on the table?" He nodded. "That is the bread that is going to become Jesus! So you have to watch the bread, okay?" Another nod.


Once the Homily was over we went back and sat with Julie, Caleb and Gabriel. I held Ethan on my lap and we sang as they brought the gifts forward. At the consecration, I pointed to the priest and bread that was changing into Our Lord and I whispered to Ethan, "Look, there He is! That's Jesus!" He stared once again.


I'll admit, he wasn't completely focused but to me that didn't much matter. Whenever I pointed and whispered he look intently.  When we prepared to go up to receive, I told him, "When you get older, you'll get to eat Jesus and then He will live inside you! And he will help you to be a good boy and grow up strong!" The smile on his face was priceless.


The spell broke when mass was over but to me that was no matter... Ethan had watched and listened and saw Jesus there - sacrificed for us all. I go to mass several times a week and I do try to focus on what is really happening there. But this mass . . . though distracting and not having even attended the entirety of it . . . was one of the most wonderful of my life -- because I was able to view it through the eyes of a child.


Thank you, Ethan.


::in HIM::
Lauren

Come for the 'Ride'

Dear Friends & Family,

I had been pondering and praying about the idea of beginning a blog for awhile now. I wondered if it was appropriate since so many of my friends have blogs mostly for the purpose of sharing news about their growing families and I am slightly concerned that beginning this blog might send an unintended message. I hope this clarifies that this is not my intention.

I wanted to begin a blog mostly because I have so many ideas in my mind sometimes that I wish I could write out and give it up to God and my dear friends for feedback and thoughts... so many of my closest friends are either far away or (like myself) always very busy so getting together regularly isn't very practical.

I know that at least one of my co-workers (who I would like to consider a friend as well) would possibly gawk at the idea that writing this blog is to help me try to improve my socialization with the world around me. And trust me when I say that I would infinitely prefer to sit around a cozy living room with cups of tea and fresh baked cookies and talk with all of my friends about everything under the sun... but these days the earth spins too fast for such regular possibilities and my craving for sharing ideas is too strong so I must find an alternative... so welcome to my elevator.

Riding the Elevator

I'd like to briefly explain my selection for the title of my blog: "Riding the Elevator." It is taken from one of my favorite TAN Books, "The Story of a Soul" which is the autobiography of the darling Saint Thérèse of Lisieux. If you have not ready this amazing little book, please do not hesitate to read it! (I have a copy I would be happy to lend to local friends.)

Thérèse was a young Carmelite nun who wrote the story of her life only under obedience to her superiors. She had no wish to make herself more than she was (which to her was nothing but an instrument of God's to do with what He wished). She lived the simplest of lives and believed in serving God and others through her "Little Way" that is, in every little thing no matter how inconsequential, tiresome or painful.

I name my blog in honor of her Little Way which she liked to phrase her "elevator" to Heaven. I wish for nothing more than to ride up this little elevator. My vocation calls me to lift up my husband and (God-willing) future children with me as well.

I hope you will help me ride this elevator so we can all reach that beautiful Place together one day.

This blog will be about many things... random ideas... religious topics... and (yes) political ideas about current events.

It will also be about my family - both immediate and extended. I hope it might help us stay a little closer - since we seem to keep spreading farther apart as some of us move to the other side of the world (literally) and other's of us depart this earth completely (may the souls of my cousin and aunt through the mercy of God, rest in peace).

I heartily invite ALL of you - friends, family, near or far to comment on my blog at any time. It exists to promote conversation and ideas.

I look forward to sharing many thoughts and experiences with you all.

::in Jesus through Mary::

Lauren