A matter of time...

Just two days ago my husband and I celebrated our second anniversary. As the date approached, we commented to one another how strange it seemed that it had already been two years. On the other hand, we also found it difficult to remember what it was like before we were married because we've become so comfortable with it and it almost feels like things have simply 'always been' that way.

I can remember with perfect clarity waking up the morning of our wedding. My maid of honor, Liz, had stay the night with me but I had woken up before her - and my tummy was not happy with me. I hadn't expected my nerves to get to me like that - but they did! A bathroom trip later, I was fine and I slipped on some jeans and a sweater and drove to St. Gabriel's Church, where perpetual adoration was available. I prayed a Rosary while contemplating the day before me - and knowing that I would arrive back there within a few short hours with my new husband.

I remember being told by one of my bridesmaids, Laura, to take the time to enjoy the day because it would fly by. This was the best advice I could have received. I was relaxed and enjoyed every moment. . . get my hair done. . . drinking Starbucks that (I think I recall) Kristen had picked up for us. . . hanging out at the hotel. . . doing my make-up. . . lunch being late (about the only time I got slightly stressed. . .)

I remember arriving at the church. . . having confession with Fr. David. . . I remember him telling me that I looked beautiful and he was amazed by my calm and, he laughed, that Tim was a basket-case (which I found quite amusing).

The mass was amazing. . . our vows. . . our rings. . . Fr. David singing the "Agnus Dei," which brought back memories of daily mass at Villanova. . . the shower of bubbles afterwards. . . the laughter.

The reception. . . glowed. There were no words to express how beautiful it was. . . and I felt like a princess in the midst of it all, on the arm of my prince.

I remember so many details with clarity and I keep the close to my heart. I remember driving away in Tim's car at the end, watching our guests disappear behind us and then turning to each other and saying, "Wow. . . it's over!" Though it wasn't. . . another Rosary at St. Gabe's and then a flight to our beautiful hotel (the Charlotte Westin, which is still, in my opinion, the most beautiful building in the city).

We'll be returning to Charlottesville this weekend, where we spent our honeymoon. I look forward to seeing those familiar places again.

How amazing that a single day two years ago can seem like a lifetime ago and yet a moment ago.

I cannot recall what it was like when I woke up and Tim wasn't sleeping beside me. I cannot recall my life when my espresso wasn't prepped for me each morning. . . when I had to make my own lunch. . . when I had to remember on my own to take my vitamins. . . when I had to cook my own dinner.

I imagine that the same thing will be true once we have a child. I won't be able to recall what it was like to sleep in until 8:30 on a Saturday. . . I won't remember what it was like when I could eat a meal with both hands. . . I won't remember what a day was like when I didn't hold my children.

I look forward to not missing this time now once I am in that time then. For now, I will enjoy each moment as those days approach. I pray that they approach in God's rapid time. :-)

American Papist's Papal Photo of the Day...

No one dared challenge the pope to liturgical-musical chairs.

[Photo: AP Photo]

See original post here:
http://www.americanpapist.com/blog.html

Support (only) a PRO-LIFE healthcare bill!

Just wanted to encourage friends and family to use the link on the USCCB website to your Senator's & Representatives in D.C.!

While there are a lot of different issues to consider with the Healthcare reform going on in Washington right now, we must remember that above ALL else, innocent human life MUST be protected. Please encourage your representatives to support & vote for bills that explicitly deny abortion access within any part of the healthcare plans created.

I just did. It took me about a minute and a half. Please spare a few minutes in your day to protect our country's unborn.

Memories and thoughts...

When I was a teenager, my grandmother used to tell me that throughout my youth, I always had a tendency to bring up the subject of my father around my birthday (mid-October, for those who don't know). I had never noticed this as a child but I suppose it makes sense . . . although, I tend to think that my birthday wasn't the occasion that brought these thoughts to mind so much as the upcoming holidays.

You see, I have never spent a single holiday with my father. My biological father, I should say. My adopted father, who I have known for about 23 years now, has been present for birthdays and holidays most of my life. So please don't misunderstand these comments to mean I don't appreciate all that he has done (and still is doing) in my life. I love him and I respect him dearly.

But my biological father has almost never been present in my life. Almost. He was there on my birth day (or perhaps the day after?) but only because my grandmother brought him to the hospital to see me. Then through the first two years of my life he was vaguely involved. By that I mean, he arranged to see meet up with my mother several times but never (or nearly never) showed up. My mother tells me he didn't care.

I wonder if anyone in the world can understand how impossible it is to believe your father doesn't care about you. It's not about just wishing he would so you could know you were important to him . . . it's about constantly hoping that he wasn't the terrible person everyone tells you he was. It's about being scared that maybe he really was just an evil man who cared for nothing in the world but himself. It's about the deepest desire of your heart to hope he turned to the Lord during his final moments and begged for mercy. It's about clutching your hands together in prayer and praying mightily for his soul all the time wondering if it matters at all because the flames of Hell may have already engulfed him.

You see, when I was just short of three years old, my father jumped from a five story building and ended his life.

No one knows what happened to him. I'm uncertain as to whether I ever will really know. The police report claims it was suicide. My mother has tried to claim he was likely involved in a drug gang and was murdered (she has no evidence, mind you).

I think I've mentioned before on my blog that my favorite virtue is Hope. I'm not sure how anyone could understand how important this little virtue is for me because honestly without it, I would have given up long ago.

Morgan Freeman's character, Red, in The Shawshank Redemption, tells Andy once, "Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." But Andy later proves to him that "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."


Andy is right. I don't know where my father is . . . but I hope every day that I will see him again in Heaven. And I pray for his soul's release from Purgatory into that Eternal Bliss. 


I hope . . .

Money, Money, Money

Money is a necessary evil.

Or so they tell me...

But sometimes I wonder why we cannot live without it. Because honestly, I can't stand it. So often it seems that money causes so many more problems than it solves.

Some of you may have seen my Facebook status today regarding my desire to start over to before we had money. I honestly think it might do us some moral good to trade goods and services rather than use money as an exchange system. I'm an artist who needs food - you're a farmer who needs to advertise your product... ta da! I create posters, emails, marketing material - you give me food.

I believe we could truly strengthen our moral character more through such a system. We would abuse what we had less - not throwing away money frivolously because we could better see how our goods were depleted through frivolity.

But I suppose that is simply an Utopian idea that will never come true...

We'd also more easily be aware if our goods were taken from us when they were not suppose to be. Today, one of my student loan accounts drafted several HUNDRED dollars more from my account then they were suppose to and with the subsequent automatic payments I have setup for monthly bills, my account was overdrawn and I was charged another several HUNDRED dollars in overdraft fees.

NOT COOL.

See, that's what I'm saying. But if some guy came by and started walking off with 10 of my cows - I'd notice!!

I know - you think I'm crazy. But let's be serious, what GOOD is all this money doing?

Happy Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary!

Today we celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary - how wonderful!! Check out the details in the Saint of the Day gadget to the right for more info.

I hope you will join me in praying a rosary today. If you don't know how or don't know what the rosary is...

It's a wonderful mediative prayer that has been a part of Catholic tradition for hundreds of years. In praying several prayers repetitively, we meditate on the events in Christ's life: from His conception in His Blessed Mother's womb... to His suffering on the Cross... to His resurrection... and beyond!

To learn to pray the rosary, just click here: http://www.theholyrosary.org/


Prayers go out today especially for my good friends who celebrate an anniversary today - and in thanksgiving for the birth of their second daughter yesterday! Blessings abound!

Hail Mary...

Praise, Jesus!

Good news!


Anne went to the doctor today and had a mammogram & ultrasound performed and - voila! - no lump!


The nurse explained that what she and her doctor had felt may have just been a "trick" of folded skin. 


Anne will be following up with her doctor again to be sure so please continue to pray but it would appear we are out of the woods!


Her guardian angel is watching out for her!!